three Interviews mean I deserve a magarita night

it seems that the economy of the country has lines at unemployment offices wrapping around the building. i am sending resumes and cover letters to many different organizations and companies. looking for something that will make me happy and make some dollars. i'd prefer something fulfilling, but right now a job is the only requirement.

i have a child to think about. so why have i been acting so selfishly lately? i've been acting more selfishly than i ever have... i need to stop and prioritize my life. if i just get a job i believe that my selfish ways will end. i also need to stop being so hung up on someone who doesn't feel the same way i feel about him. it makes no sense why i continue to want someone who doesn't want me back. i deserve to get in return what i give out to another.

i want to be a good example for my daughter. right now i am a shitty example of a woman. i keep thinking that tomorrow i will be stronger. tomorrow i will make my recovery. today is tomorrow.

The Ugliness

Human beings are ugly. Myself very included.
It makes no sense why we treat one another the way that we do.
It's as if we want to all be forever alone.

Maybe that is the solution.

Everyone is all alone and that's unbearable, but so comforting.
You want a model. Fewer brain cells.
Less to worry about.
Less to satisfy.

Sounds like what you are looking for.

Responsibility to some degree comes with living, so I guess dying is the only real solution here.

The world is oh-so ugly. Reality disgusts me.
Maybe I don't live in the real world.
Maybe I'm in some fictious-figment of my own imagination.

For now, it's okay.

But I'm still so full of ugliness.
At least you have something beautiful to look at now.