Sexual Predator

And I remember that night in your car.
We listened to CocoRosie for hours and you were shocked I knew who they were.

We got lost. Driving.
We referenced a map. After living in Chicago for a minute I understand why you rely so heavily on maps. Massachusetts people just don't need them. They know they will get lost and rely on friends, family, cell phone, pay phone and cops.

Did we want to get unlost? unstuck? unstruck?

And I remember all the times you call me for sex.
And you have a live-in girlfriend.
Your car could feel so good, but I can't get the idea that you are a monster out of my head.

Life gets hard

Sometimes life gets hard and you're lonely because you are physically alone. Will anyone affect me?

Oh please, I'm afflicted, Baby!

A real fucking mess
And life get hard.

Humboldt Park at Night Alone Part 1

Everything has an expiration date, but typically no one knows that date until it happens. As far as boy/girl relationships go, there is never supposed to be a set expiration date. Usually it comes when one gets with another or it just feels right or in a screaming match that ends with broken faces, broken windows and broken CD cases. Nevertheless the time is never planned because then the relationship is doomed from the beginning.

Sometimes love is not enough. Being far to young to even know what unconditional love really is makes it difficult to understand why some people do the things they do. But actions do speak louder than words, so if you love someone and then decide to never get a job and let that person support you and then run out on them, how is that love?

Another person to screw up my head and make it more difficult to understand how love is supposed to feel. Not one sided. Currently, I am devastated so in a few moments things might be different or things might fall apart. I'll leave that up to fate, but what I do know is that a person I love is leaving me to sit in my ghetto apartment in a fucking hell hole of a section of this Midwest city known as Chicago so that he can grow as a person. This translate to...so he can go somewhere warming fuck a bunch of girls, go back to Boston fuck a bunch of girls, go to Maine and live in the woods and bring a bunch of white trash girls into the woods to fuck.

I'm glad that's all been sorted out. I feel better just realizing how completely ridiculous, fucking selfish and bizarre he is and while I know deep down I love him, I hate him more right now.