My Own Worst Enemy

I have become
My own worst enemy.
I feel my heart begin to race
And I know
I'm about to lose control

But it's all so situational.

Looking at the big picture
Doesn't help but it tricks me
To believing that things are allright.

I have a man with no heart whose baby I carry
And another who's in search of a mother.

Neither is any good for me
I will probably love both for awhile.

I wish i could forget,
Have it out of my head for an hour.

It's more than I can take.

I traveled thousands of miles
It still consumes me

Wishing for more nights
In bed with strangers.

I'm good to sleep next to because of this
Getting used to not really existing.

At the moment I'm alone
And I'm my own worst enemy
Making life harder than it has to be
Fighting when there's nothing left

To fight about

It's all over.

It came in like a hurricane and left the same way
Destroying everything in its path

But I'm like a pitbull
Beat me, shoot me, leave me for dead
But I'll forgive you
And be, oh so, eager to please you.