Epic Excusions: In Purgatory

The decision to let go of the familiar was not as difficult as I had thought prior to just doing it. The past six months were not any kind of a reality, which leaves a lot of room to change things. It was a quick decision, but sometimes big life decision don't give you time to sit down and make a list of pros and cons, this is my reality. I do not have a post-it note to break up the good and the bad I am just here and I had to jump.

The sinking effect sets in every now and then, but the decision was the right one. It's been a long road of bad relationships, unfrogiveable actions and bruised egos. The change was in need and what a better time to make the switch than when excaping a heartbreaking city and moving to a new one. Will it break me? This is all so uncertain, but life is going and I am finally apart of it.

It sounds unfortunately for me that I wasn't breathing the right air for so long and I was putting myself into bad situations and letting them stay that way. This is the change.

I could have, maybe should have come to this new land and taken up with the man that was waiting for me, but was he really waiting? It was all a lie anyway, pure bullshit.

The broken record that he was, was only interested in himself, a real numero uno. He had no interest in helping me make my life better, just me making his life better. Maybe it was good that I learned that I need some me time and some help with my life. I can't just help others succeed and stand in line waiting for my turn. I am cutting the line right now.

The decision to run from the one that was waiting for me was the right one. If nothing else made it more clear then the childishness that ensued made it all so clear. If only I could have saved though text messages he sent, they were phenonmenal. The harsh words and the trying of vicsiousness. I like the attempt, but if you mess with the bulls you will get the horns. The attempt was seen through... it was cowardly.

If I had to use one word to describe all of the men in my life romantically it would be...cowardly. They are cowards and pathetic.

But there is light at the end of this tunnel, especially in regards to romantic relationships, well at least for now, and at least this romantic relationship I have found myself flung into.