My feet moved so slowly for the first time in years and my calves burned as I moved through the sand. But the view, it was beautiful. It was all worth it and the loneliness it melted away, because at that moment if I had heard a sound or if another human had made a noise my peace would have dissolved.
I've been thinking about some serious time away from cities, because cities are so heartbreaking and so full. They aren't even full of life, well, they are full of life, but not the good kind. The negativity that exists and fraudulent beings they all exist in these cities. Nature is fraudulent, but in a different sense because currently I can not translate its negativity into my own language.
The cynics are all unitying and they are coming into my brain. I hear their words echo inside my, currently, hollow head. I don't want to go back to my old ways. I want to go out into the world with open eyes, an open mind and a giant heart ready to explore. This, however, does come with some degree of naivete. I hope it doesn't get the best og me.
Thinkin, thinking, thinking...staring, staring, staring...into the outside world and curious to see where I fit I start exploring everything around me. Because for now I am a city dweller and I will make the best of it. I am looking at the way the bricks are laid. The cracks, when will they fall apart? I'm comparing a lot of inanimate objects to my own being. Scary. Maybe I am truly losing my mind this time, maybe I'm understanding where I am right now. I am alone.
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